Saturday, August 27, 2005

Terrible 2's

I think Callum has suddenly turned into a terrible 2 over the last week :-(

He whinges, moans and throws crying fits for no apparent reason. He's also become even more stubborn and wilful. He'll stand their doing something he kows he's not supposed to do (like tipping the dining room chair over, or pulling the cats tail) gave you a look to make sure you're watching and then do it again with a big grin on his face!! I know he's testing us (and you know what it's working!) but it's so hard to remain calm, remove him from the situation, tell him that it's not ok, knowing that within an hour he'll be back doing the same thing again, aarrggghh.

We haven't really done time outs yet but I think it might be time to try. I'm just not sure if he's developmentally ready to "get" time outs. Any advice?


Tara Marie said...

Oh Naomi,,,,,while this can be challenging times, and they do last for a long time [or so they did with Emma Sage] you are doing the right things.

First, if the crying and whining seems to be coming from no-where, he might not be feeling well. It was not until Emma Sage became verbal enough to tell us that 'she was sick' that we realized the times that she seemed to melt down were because she was just not feeling well and had no way of telling us [other than show us].

Stay patient, redirect, and I found that I had to 'anticipate' and redirect before it even happened. Always be consistant, and in a loving voice explain 'Why' we don't do [fill in activity].

I'm right here along this journey with you offering patience and humor!!!

Belovedlife said...

Tara Marie is right, REdirect! If you see the naughty behavior coming, change the room, change the activity, change it all. It may take a while to get it, but once he does, it helps.

BStrong said...

Welcome to the club. I agree with my wife beloved life and Tara Marie. Hang in there it's tuff but it also is a great photo opportunity. Keep the camera ready because he's going to do things that are going to have your eyeballs in the back of your head. These are the pictures your going to bring out when he's a teenager to embarrass him. We have plenty of our son.

Patrick said...

We're using the 1-2-3-Magic system to good effect with Lauren (just turned two). Most of the time after a two-count she will behave. We've been using it since she was 18 months, and even then it helped.

Naomi said...

Patrick - we recently bought the 123 magic book and I was curious if anyone had used it at age 2 with a child with DS. I think it might be time to try it. Thanks!

Sam said...

What a cute boy. We hope to adopt a baby with DS - as number 5 if we make it that far. We've had luck with the Supernanny technique. At his level,describe what was wrong, put him on time out, if he gets up don't respond except to put him back. After time out is up, have him say or acknowledge the "bad choice" he made and the consequence, apologize, and give a hug. The simpler the technique the betterfor us...I have to force myself to - not react angrily and be consistant about putting him in time out/this technique for any infraction. It's the only way he gets that I'm serious and in charge. And it has to be every infraction. I don't think he views ripping up toilet paper all over the house and pushing his sister on the stairs any I have to respond to everything. If I don't respond to one little thing he thinks I won't follow through on anything no matter how big it is.

Work it now or it'll be hell to pay later. Imagine a teenager with DS throwing himself on the floor or yelling and hitting himself in the head.

Gabe has watched Shark Tales and has picked up on two parts in the movie where a shark calls another one "Moron" and "Dummyhead". My retarded son thinks it's hilarious to call me a Moron :)

Very funny. I haven't been able to write much since I've been landscaping the back yard.


Patrick said...

One thing that bothered me about the Supernanny technique was the "apologize" step. The 1-2-3 Magic system says (copied from some other site):

Phelan warns that "many apologies are really exercises in hypocrisy." (p. 54) The child is forced to apologize for hitting his sister, but he really feels that the apology is just part of the punishment. She hit him first and she deserved it. The fine points of the murky psychology of retaliation must wait for the older child to emerge. Right now, you just stop the hitting, period.

I tend to agree with that viewpoint, and when I get Lauren from her time out I usual just kneel down and repeat the reason why she was punished. I do try to get an acknolegement (have her repeat a simple okay) then a hug and a kiss. But Lauren is a very easy child to discipline so your mileage may vary.

Emily said...

Great to read all these suggestions as we have been struggling with what to do with our four year old with DS. The "Supernanny" method doesn't work for us so will definitely be investigating the 1-2-3 Magic system.

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