Thursday, April 13, 2006

Differences

We took Callum to one of his classmates 3rd birthday party on Sunday morning. About 15 3, or close to 3, year olds plus parents and a few younger siblings all hanging out at a local park, eating pizza, drinking juice and chatting. Sounds great doesn't it? but for us it was our first reality check for what most 3 year olds are doing.

Did you know that they talk? they have real conversations! they talk about stuff that happened at school last week, who their boyfriend or girlfriend is and give instructions for how to play the game properly. Of course we knew that that was what most typical kids did, but it hasn't really been up close and personal before. Callum can communicate, but I long for the day when I can ask him what he did at school today and he actually answers me. Now I see why most parent's aren't too bothered by the fact that the teachers don't write down what went on at school that day. They don't need the note, they can get a blow by blow account straight from the horses mouth.

Did you know how social they are? they hold hands, they run and hug each other in greeting, they seem to feel best in a big group. Callum accepted a hug from one of his friends, he briefly waved hello and bye but there wasn't that deep pleasure at being around friends. I know he does play with other kids at school, but in this new environment with lots of things to explore he was happy as long as Mark or I were close. He did happily chase Kieran and they played a game of trying to catch and tickle each other, but he didn't really interact with the other kids. A band were shooting a music video in the kids playground and Callum was in his element - whenever the music started, he would dance and dance and his whole face would light up. The other kids hardly took any notice, is there a social "herd" instinct that keeps you oblivious to what is going on outside your group?

Callum explored the whole area, he crawled through tunnels, he examined bushes, he discovered the pay phone just outside the park and went to talk to Granny, he found an abandoned baby doll and spent a happy 5 minutes putting her to bed, waking her up and soothing her tears with lots of hugs.

He's different, I admit it.

Do I want him to be like all the other kids, sometimes.

7 comments:

Tom P. said...

I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if Mikey had not been the special little boy he is. I would have more money. My life would be more normal. But I think I would have lost something. There is a whole group of people (you, for example) who I would never had the opportunity to meet and share with and that would have made my life much poorer.

Michelle said...

I can so relate to this! Especially the talking part! We're hanging around the 2 yr old age group and they are talking in complete sentences and formulating thoughts and opinions etc and we're still trying to get Kayla to string 2 words together that she knows how to say - such "night night mommy!" (Wow that was a run-on sentence!) She plays with other kids, but it's still more parralel (sp?) play. We were at the park and the kids were playing "monster" with someone's dad chasing them around and one of the boys was telling kayla come on run he's a monster! She had not a clue what he was talking about! Of course Joe and I have never said we're playing "monster" to her but still -the other kids "got it". Anyway, just wanted to sympathize with you!

Oh yea - you've also been tagged! Just go read my blog to find out about what :)

The Imperfect Christian said...

I'm at a new frustration level with the middle one. She now REFUSES to sign and her vocabulary seems to be stuck on two words. I had visions of her walking and talking at her second birthday party, but I think the REALIST in me needs to come out and slap my HOPE ADDICT.

Ups and DOWNS. Pun fully intended!

Shelley said...

I know exactly what you mean. It used to be harderst when the twins were about 6 months old and I could see so clearly every day just how that extra chromosone was making things harder for Hannah than for her brother Kit. I got myself a list of DS appropriate milestones which helped a bit. It doesn't upset or bother me nearly as much now although of course I still think of it from time to time. Now such thoughts are more likely to happen after an outing with other people's 'regular' children. Yes they are 'lucky' but so are we.

Kelly said...

I did the same thing this weekend when it dawned on me at my cousin's daughter's 4th birthday that "Jenelle is going to be 4 in October"... and then... "look at what these 4 year old girls are doing!" Bu as Tom above says, I think I would have lost something in life had she been different!

Hugs!

Tamara said...

Reality checks are really hard. Hang in there.

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