Friday, March 17, 2006

Evaluations

Callum has gone through 6 different evaluations over the last 3 weeks and has been co-operative, engaging and happy through the majority of them. He's been watched by about 8 different adults, all strangers to him, who write their notes and ask him to perform and then write some more notes. He's climbed stairs, ridden a tricycle, drawn circles, done puzzles and stacked blocks.

He's been asked to do things that he doesn't know how to do - sort into colours, cut a piece of paper with scissors, imitate drawing a line and catching a ball. With all of these things he's tried his hardest, he's looked at the therapists for approval, he's done what he thinks is right and we've said "good trying Callum" but all the while my heart is hurting.

I've watched his pudgy little fingers try and do puzzle that I know is too difficult for him, when he puts the piece in the wrong place and smiles and claps I just want to pick him up and smother him with love because I know all those who are watching are making their notes and adding to the list of things that he can not do. I want to tell them about all the things he can do, how he goes to comfort kids who are crying, how he gives the sweetest hugs right before he falls asleep, how he gets so much pleasure out of dancing and singing to his favourite videos and how he makes us smile. Unfortunately there aren't any check boxes for these things.

10 comments:

Christy said...

::HUGS::
I know exactly what you're talking about. As they try to get him to put something "in" and he happily grabs it & licks it. As they try to get him to bear weight & he just giggles & pulls his feet up. As they ask him to put a ring "on" a stacker & he just throws it behind him and says, "uh-oh".
It breaks your heart. Makes you weep & rage.
Take heart - he doesn't know. He doesn't know what he can't do or what he's supposed to do. He knows what he can do. And he takes immeasurable joy in that. The rest will come.
At least that's what they tell me!

Naomi said...

Christy - Thanks, I needed those hugs. We just got the first of the reports from the evaluation and they always get me down. We have his first IEP on Monday and I'm not really looking forward to it.

Tom P. said...

"Experts" are useless unless they get to really know your child. We have had evaluations of Mikey that make him sound hopeless and uneducable. Those "experts" were wrong. Sure there are lots of things Mikey has trouble with, things that he can't do, but that doesn't mean that he will never be able to do them. Mikey gets frustrated sometimes but he works hard and he accomplishes a lot of things.

aeroswordfish said...

So sorry you are having such a stressful time with all these tests. But Callum knows how much you love him and clearly gives his love back to you. That is the great thing.
Would you thank Felicity for my birthday card. I was so pleased to receive it.
Love from us both,
Grandpa P.

Tamara said...

Naomi, you have a very visual way of explaining things that just tugs at my heartstrings. I imagine Callum is so beautiful. You have the right point of view, I think. He sounds like a wonderful little boy. Do you know about this: http://blogs.clubmom.com/clubmom/2006/03/wanted_mom_blog.html.
You might consider applying...

Naomi said...

Tom - You're right there's no way these "experts" can really know Callum in such a short period of time. I know in my heart that Callum can do whatever he sets his mind to, even if it takes a long time to get there.

Grandpa - I'll pass on your thanks to mum, thanks for commenting.

Tamara - Thanks for the link I'll take a look.

Kim Ayres said...

As long as he's still getting his love and hugs from you then he's not going to be long term worried about a few tests. The fact that you focus so much on what he can do is what makes you such a great mum.

zannetastic said...

Naomi, hi! I saw that you had posted on my blog and I wanted to check out yours...It would be interesting to talk to you, since we are just starting all the IEP stuff. I live in the Hollywood area, maybe we could talk. You can e-mail me, if you like, suzannelezotte@yahoo.com.

What a great pair of boys you have!! So cute...

Tamara said...

Naomi, my previous note had the lik chopped off. Sorry about that. Here it is again:
http://blogs.clubmom.com/clubmom/2006/03/wanted_mom_blog.html
They're looking for mom bloggers who can get readers "emotionally involved." They also posted an opening for moms of children with special needs. Consider it!

Anonymous said...

You have an outstanding good and well structured site. I enjoyed browsing through it » »